Without too much thought as to what tomorrow will bring

The six of us—Amelia, Mariene, Lili, Ari and Eric—were sitting around the table at the bar, yesterday evening. Amelia’s leaving in just under two weeks, after 10 months of work as an au pair, here in Paris. I asked her if she was ready to go home.

She’s gotten past that peak of missing her friends and family, she said. Because it’s been 10 months of missing them. And after a point, the feeling becomes normal, bearable. In some ways, she’d be happy to stay on, but yes, she’s looking forward to getting back.

She threw the question back at me. I looked around at the table—at the faces of these friends who I’ve recently gotten to know, but who have helped shape these past three weeks of my summer into something special. And I said, I don’t know. Sure I felt that ache, that gnawing desire to return to the states after my semester was over. But I also knew, at the time, that staying in Paris for six months could be a one in a lifetime opportunity. And so going home was not even a question.

But now, I don’t know if I want to go home.

I’ll be happy to be back in the circle of my DC social life. I’ll be happy when CVS is down the street and Target, a bus ride away. I’ll be happy when I can use the Twitter code for a free cupcake at Georgetown Cupcakes and will be making more money than spending.

But do I want to go home?

I love this, I love these friends, these moments. And so my answer:  I don’t have one. It’s not a no, it’s not a yes.

It’s the moment I’m appreciating. It’s the here, the now, the experience of today without too much thought as to what tomorrow will bring.

I left the bar early to meet up with a friend for dinner. I’m glad I hadn’t canceled on him given he took me on a night time boat ride along the Seine-- a vegetarian meal for the two of us, as he keeps kosher too.

I always say, life has its little surprises. Grab them, when they come your way.

There's no say to where it could take you.

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